I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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