I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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