Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize