pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
