if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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