I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize