I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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