Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation

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(304): View more from West Virginia

What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"

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(516): View more from New York

she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.

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(971): View more from Oregon

He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.

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(716): View more from New York

I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.

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