If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
