ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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