How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
