im drinking this country out of the recession.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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