One girl and one boy is just not enough.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
