Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
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