My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize