one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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