epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
