friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
