I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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