I would go down on you faster than GM stock
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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