How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If I had your ass I would rule the world
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
