I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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