I just threw up on my dentist
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize