If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
