A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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