No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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