you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
PANTIES FOUND
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
