2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Green mimosas i think yes
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
