so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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