Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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