oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize