Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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