the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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