My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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