Having a random hookup so left but love u
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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