we have officially lost it.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
