After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
