Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't think brook has ever known best
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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