i dont even know how to be here
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
