after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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