I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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