OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize