i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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