Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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