we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
