physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
