Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
