You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
How external is "for external use only"?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
