why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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