her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
