OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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