i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
