I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
