and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
