the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize