3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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