how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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