Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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