Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
