How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
