arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
