Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
