on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
